Let your pals dwell on the damage that could have been done without such early and formative instruction.
When people ask you what the value of reading is, you could do worse than point them in the direction of page 82 of Shirley Conran's extremely bonky bonkbuster, where four friends at a Swiss finishing school – once they've got the hang of avoiding penile fractures – shag everything in sight. Did you bend it forwards? Did you rotate it? Could it snap off?' The sensual beauty of a young girl's first handjob. 'Maxine was terrified of doing something wrong, of hurting him.
